1986 HSC-RDC & CyberFluor Christmas Songs


Index

Return to Main Index or Home

Fluor of Wonder

Sung to tune of "We Three Kings"

Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986

We the lab of CyberFluor are
Developing kits (at least trying hard)
T3, T4, Dig and Cortisol
What's next? We just don't know

Ohhhh

Fluor of wonder, fluor of light
Fluor of assays working right
Wash more, wash less
What's next, your guess
Guide us to the protocol.

Return to Index


Good King Clelland

Sung to the tune of "Good King Wenceslaus"

Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986

Good King Clelland came to work,
   driving in his Volvo.
When a car swerved round about,
   slam and crunch and "oh no!"
Oh my gosh, I'll be late
   for the Wednesday meeting.
I must call the girls right now,
   or they'll wait till evening.

Half past nine he staggered in,
   to see the meeting ending.
Missed his chance to tell them all
   of his perils pending.
For you see the lab door swung
   open and unguarded.
For any wayward souls could then
   enter uninvited.

Vicki something must be done
   that door is always open.
Can't you teach those people things
   with words that are never spoken.
Now she said straight away
   to tell him of his peril.
For them to close the door all day
   would add to their travail.

Good King Clelland wise and fair
   let the door stay open.
So the people could go through
   with foul words unspoken.
And so they sing this song for him
   to tell him of their praises.
For to close the door on them
   would've cost him hefty raises.

Return to Index


Let It Glow!

Sung to the tune of "Let It Snow!"

Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986

Oh the labelling yields are frightful,
But Ramon is so insightful.
He can make the reaction go!
Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow!
Oh the flow rate shows signs of fallin',
Seems we've lost it on the column,
And the Eurofluor's running low,
Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow!

When we finally make the probe
How we hate adding it to a well
'Cause the background is up so high
Hing Wo is going through hell!

While the funding is slowly dying
Hybridizing we are trying
So if we're going to get the dough
Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow!

Return to Index


The Twelve Weeks at Scintrex

Sung to tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986

On the first week at Scintrex
John Robbins said to me
The instrument will be there next week.

On the second week at Scintrex
The colour wasn't right
John wanted beige
And the instrument will be there next week.

On the third week at Scintrex
The motors didn't work
Three broken boards
Two wires crossed
And the instrument will be there next week.

On the fourth week at Scintrex
It ran without a plate
Four white pegs
Three plate grippers
All fell inside
And the instrument will be there next week.

On the fifth week at Scintrex
We put the covers on
Twelve different screws! (slow)
The holes don't line up
Good metalwork
Covers many ills
And the instrument will be there by ten.

On the sixth week at Scintrex
The demo was next day
It worked in Chicago
What laser noise? (slow) [sung by person wearing beard]
Four software hangs
Three plate jams
Two hard disks trashed
And the instrument will be there by ten.

On the seventh week at Scintrex
The laser packed it in
Seven old transformers
Six new tubes
Five calls from Jim (slow)
Four cups of coffee
Three lasers down
Two days gone
And the instrument will be there next week.

On the eighth week at Scintrex
The plates jammed again
Eight unknown interrupts
Seven diagonal errors
Six frozen keyboards
What's AMX? (slow)
Four calls to Ron
Three new PROMS
Motors wouldn't work
And no ACK from the 8035.

From Orlando on the ninth week
A frantic phonecall came
Lijana's on the line
The printer won't work
Where is the cable?
John's guts for garters
Thank God for Kodak! (slow)
Where has it been shipped?
Miami, New York, then in Buffalo
And the instrument will be there next week.

On the tenth week of testing
We looked for motor noise
Ten ground paths
Nine feet of wire
Eight different boards
Seven pounds of solder
Six orange spots
Javad's brought twelve plates! (slow)
Where's the schematic?
Gotta get it working
Astrid's looking mean
And the numbers will be better next week.

On the eleventh week of testing
We called the FDA
Eleven staff meetings
Ten warped strips
Nine pH's
Eight crates of plates
Seven weeks late
Six antibodies
To biotinylate (slow)
AFP
HCG
TSH
And the assays will be ready next week.

On the twelfth week of testing
The Pilot people came
Find all the screws
Put on the covers
Turn off the laser
Fix up the software
Take off the keypad
Grin at the data
Put on a labcoat
Jim's gone away! (slow)
Rinaldo wants an assay
Nine million bucks
If it works just once
And the deal will be signed next week.

Return to Index


Return to Home

Background graphics courtesy of CSP Backgrounds.