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Fluor of WonderSung to tune of "We Three Kings"Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986 |
We the lab of CyberFluor are Developing kits (at least trying hard) T3, T4, Dig and Cortisol What's next? We just don't know Ohhhh Fluor of wonder, fluor of light Fluor of assays working right Wash more, wash less What's next, your guess Guide us to the protocol. |
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Good King ClellandSung to the tune of "Good King Wenceslaus"Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986 |
Good King Clelland came to work, driving in his Volvo. When a car swerved round about, slam and crunch and "oh no!" Oh my gosh, I'll be late for the Wednesday meeting. I must call the girls right now, or they'll wait till evening. Half past nine he staggered in, to see the meeting ending. Missed his chance to tell them all of his perils pending. For you see the lab door swung open and unguarded. For any wayward souls could then enter uninvited. Vicki something must be done that door is always open. Can't you teach those people things with words that are never spoken. Now she said straight away to tell him of his peril. For them to close the door all day would add to their travail. Good King Clelland wise and fair let the door stay open. So the people could go through with foul words unspoken. And so they sing this song for him to tell him of their praises. For to close the door on them would've cost him hefty raises. |
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Let It Glow!Sung to the tune of "Let It Snow!"Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986 |
Oh the labelling yields are frightful, But Ramon is so insightful. He can make the reaction go! Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow! Oh the flow rate shows signs of fallin', Seems we've lost it on the column, And the Eurofluor's running low, Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow! When we finally make the probe How we hate adding it to a well 'Cause the background is up so high Hing Wo is going through hell! While the funding is slowly dying Hybridizing we are trying So if we're going to get the dough Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow! |
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The Twelve Weeks at ScintrexSung to tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"Written by the CyberFluor & RDC Christmas Committee 1986 |
On the first week at Scintrex John Robbins said to me The instrument will be there next week. On the second week at Scintrex The colour wasn't right John wanted beige And the instrument will be there next week. On the third week at Scintrex The motors didn't work Three broken boards Two wires crossed And the instrument will be there next week. On the fourth week at Scintrex It ran without a plate Four white pegs Three plate grippers All fell inside And the instrument will be there next week. On the fifth week at Scintrex We put the covers on Twelve different screws! (slow) The holes don't line up Good metalwork Covers many ills And the instrument will be there by ten. On the sixth week at Scintrex The demo was next day It worked in Chicago What laser noise? (slow) [sung by person wearing beard] Four software hangs Three plate jams Two hard disks trashed And the instrument will be there by ten. On the seventh week at Scintrex The laser packed it in Seven old transformers Six new tubes Five calls from Jim (slow) Four cups of coffee Three lasers down Two days gone And the instrument will be there next week. On the eighth week at Scintrex The plates jammed again Eight unknown interrupts Seven diagonal errors Six frozen keyboards What's AMX? (slow) Four calls to Ron Three new PROMS Motors wouldn't work And no ACK from the 8035. From Orlando on the ninth week A frantic phonecall came Lijana's on the line The printer won't work Where is the cable? John's guts for garters Thank God for Kodak! (slow) Where has it been shipped? Miami, New York, then in Buffalo And the instrument will be there next week. On the tenth week of testing We looked for motor noise Ten ground paths Nine feet of wire Eight different boards Seven pounds of solder Six orange spots Javad's brought twelve plates! (slow) Where's the schematic? Gotta get it working Astrid's looking mean And the numbers will be better next week. On the eleventh week of testing We called the FDA Eleven staff meetings Ten warped strips Nine pH's Eight crates of plates Seven weeks late Six antibodies To biotinylate (slow) AFP HCG TSH And the assays will be ready next week. On the twelfth week of testing The Pilot people came Find all the screws Put on the covers Turn off the laser Fix up the software Take off the keypad Grin at the data Put on a labcoat Jim's gone away! (slow) Rinaldo wants an assay Nine million bucks If it works just once And the deal will be signed next week. |
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